This bloody council. They've updated the email server and decided that this would be a good point at which to get everybody to update their details in the address book. On the appointed day, when each of us logged on we were confronted with a form, filling in for the use of. The next day there was a global email telling staff that they didn't need to put their middle initial in the box marked "Middle Initial." An email you could only get by logging on and filling in the form.
The reason for the panic is now apparent. I can't find Gordon Harker in the address book, even though I knew he should be in there and works in the Town Hall. Eventually I gave in and trawled all the "G"s. There he was: Gordon B. Harker. In between Gordon Ainsworth and Gordon Clough.
These are the people giving me lectures on information management. Fuckwits.