Posy is asked to adjudicate, and best of luck to her. I suspect she'll be needing brandy and brown sugar by the time the week's over.
This is how Call Me Dave's Big Society will be running public services in the future.
I'll get me coat.
"I had a turkey butty ready for me dinner but I'm not hungry now."
"That's not fair," says Andi. "What if one of the Assistant Librarians in this part of the borough had wanted that job?""Then they'd have applied for the secondment," replied Jack Harry, simply.
"Where was you this morning?""I had to go to the clap clinic.""What yer got?""She says it's that chlamydia thing."
"If he's got it, he'll have passed it round half the estate by now."
"Oh, I'm far too busy for that," says Moira. "Can't you do it?"
"There's a lot in today," I remark to Milton."They've heard you're in a good mood," he replies. "They've come to have a look. It's a one-in-a-lifetime tick in the twitcher's log book."