One of the advantages of working in a library service is that the continuous exposure to all that is good and great about Western culture lends a certain felicity of erudition to the conversation.
Sybil's been complaining about the effects of a recent surgical intervention:
"I'm all lop-sided now. I'll have to get one of them chicken fillets."
"But you're vegetarian, you can't have chicken fillets. Do they do something similar in Quorn?"
"They say that a bag of water's got the same consistency."
"Aye, but just think on: knowing my luck I'd start getting fruity and the bag would burst. "
"He'd think your waters had broken."
"He'd probably think I was Mrs. Incontinent."
"How about KY Jelly? That's the same sort of consistency."
"How rock 'n' roll is that? Going into Anne Summers and saying: 'can I have a litre and a half of KY Jelly, please, I'm going to a wedding reception on Saturday.'"