As if life at work holds too few horrors we receive a new photocopier-cum-printer. All singing, all dancing, all horrible. None of us knew it was coming and nobody knew whether or not what was delivered is what was ordered. Nor even whether or not we should have taken delivery of the sticky-out feet at the bottom.
"I can take them off if you want," offers the engineer.
We didn't take him up on the offer. It could be that it was the feet that sold the thing to whoever ordered it.
In order to accomodate the behemoth we've had to move the old photocopier out of the way (don't go there: if it goes true to form it'll still be parked here when the next glacier comes a-strolling) and a couple of desks which have had to be put where the next lot of incoming boxes were going to go.
To put the tin lid on the deal, the thing doesn't run in silent mode. If you switch it on it emits a high-pitched beep. Press a button and it emits a high-pitched beep. Change the zoom setting and it emits three high-pitched beeps. Copy a piece of paper, it emits five high-pitched beeps. Copy a document, it emits five high-pitched beeps each time it vomits out a sheet of paper. What joy while Maudie prints a forty-page document for T. Aldous...
...one page printed, beep beep beep beep beep...
...second page printed, beep beep beep beep beep...
...third page printed, beep beep beep beep beep...
...fourth page printed, beep beep beep beep beep...
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
I've gone through all the manuals and I've searched in vain for the speakers on the beast so that I can stick sellotape over it. Great God this is an awful place.
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