We're taking a bit of a breather while the world rearranges its underpants. Meanwhile, the other blog is here.

Friday, April 18, 2008


It says a lot for the economy of Helminthdale that Lidl have pulled out of the town centre due to lack of trade.

Bizzarely, the shop on Bannockburn Avenue still stays open. It sells nothing but piano accordions. Piano accordions featured highly in some of the free 'n' easy pubs I frequented in my youth but I've never even seen one in any of the pubs in Helminthdale, let alone one used in anger. Perhaps it's a tax dodge: some people put their money in secret accounts in Liechtenstein or the Cayman Islands, others in a piano accordion shop in Helminthdale.


The Topiary Cow said...

Piano accordians are a remunerative business. They sell the lessons and the accordian to a proud parent for their children. Get a big sale, weekly income from the lessons, and then the chance to up-sell them later to a bigger and more expensive version as little Johnny still takes his lessons.

The things are fairly easy to make sound decent, not like violin for instance where it will sound terrible for years.

Why do you never see them around? Because as soon as little Johnny is big enough to pitch a fit the lessons will end, the accordian will be relegated to a closet and Johnny will commit hari-kari rather than ever admit he knows how to play something so inherently uncool.


Kevin Musgrove said...

How could it be possibly uncool? I've got all Wierd Al's polka party tracks.

Anonymous said...

I think there's a connection. The Piano Accordion Shop is being bankrolled by Lidl under the terms of the Schengen agreement.

Kevin Musgrove said...

Knowing Helminthdale it could be the part of the Marshall Plan that time forgot.