Suits you, sir

Frog's decided to wear his suit to work today to help him ease down gently from yesterday's heady sense of power. He bought one of those ludicrously cheap suits from ASDA (Walmart's UK subsiduary). What did he get for his ten quid? Actually it's not all that bad, no worse than most young lads' first suits in fact.

Frog will admit that he is not a young lad any more. He also suffers from duck's disease, so the legs are a bit on the long side. Turning up the hem gave him turn-ups just over the knee. His workaround is to double up the turn-up and then tuck the inner fold into the top of his socks.

"What if you have a devastating bound of diarrhoea?" he's asked. Like you do.

"I've got built-in guttering," he replies.