We're taking a bit of a breather while the world rearranges its underpants. Meanwhile, the other blog is here.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Inspirational toilet rolls

We have a sudden proliferation of corporate posters. Helminthdale Council lost one of its Michelin stars for outstanding public service in the field of local government and is taking it out on its workforce. Backstage in the library every wall has a poster proclaiming:

The council must improve!!!

over a picture of somebody looking suitably inspiring. The one on the wall by the Nation's Biggest Whiteboard has a Nicholas Parsons looky-likey wearing a clipboard. If they were all like that I wouldn't mind. Well, yes I would: it's a patronising waste of prodigious amounts of ink and paper. Anyway... the one I really object to is the one on the staff room wall opposite the table, suitably situated to put you off your dinner.

The model for this poster looks like Charles Bronson smiling his way through a toothache but lacking the late actor's devil-may-care air of debonair class that would have made him a jewel in the screwball comedies of the 1930s. After some discussion we could only conclude that the subtext must be:

Helminthdale Council: so full of impacted shit that it has to be worked out with a pencil.

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