Twelve points for jam

The council is on an economy drive and every business unit must show, if not a profit, then not a stonking loss (remember that the next time you see a lollipop man). So we can't print or photocopy any more than 10 sheets of paper without first getting a quote from the council's Printing Unit. The process is:

• You realise you need more than 10 sheets.
• You ring the Printing Unit for a quote.
• They email you the first number they thought of.
• You say something rude.
• You reply to the email asking if the quote is "quite right."
• They email you a revised quote which works out as seven times the cost of just getting it done yourself.

Your tax pound at work.