We're taking a bit of a breather while the world rearranges its underpants. Meanwhile, the other blog is here.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Thirty minutes of cheerless and depressing nonsense

We are obsessed with active borrowers, as someone told the Chief Exec we would have "no problems" upping performance and reaching the target.

At the beginning of September I was asked to produce a list of all those due to lapse that month so that we could mail shot them. Now, getting data off our LMS in mail mergable format isn't exactly the most straightforward process. Anyway having spent ages selecting the data and exporting it into a spreadsheet -- seriously boring work -- I've just been asked for all those due to expire Oct to Dec.

"What have you done with the September file I produced?"

"Nothing, I haven't had time."

Roll on retirement!


The Topiary Cow said...

Cow, not being an "active borrower" or, perhaps, active in much of anything, admits she has no clue of the meaning of this post.

reaching a target for active borrowers?
(ready, aim, fire?)

lapsed active borrowers?
(passive borrowers?)

mail shot them?
(borrowers will now be executed?)

Cow, obviously, would flounder in Helminthdale...


Kevin Musgrove said...

How lucky can you be! We have a ginormous suite of annual performance targets which we have to meet or else the government takes money off the local council, of which we are part. One of these is "20% of the local population must be active members of the library" ("active members" = "borrowed something from the library this year" not "used the library this year.")

The theory is that if you mail all the people who last borrowed from the library 11 months ago and say how much you miss them enough of them will come back to make a difference. When I've done this with people who've actually made an effort we've retrieved just over 10% of the stragglers.

Don't feel bad: everybody flounders in Helminthdale.

The Topiary Cow said...

Ah. Knowing this, Cow would create a ghost file of 20% of the local population and electronically and discreetly check-out and check-in items to them herself.

Voila, local council satisfied, no more need for "mail shootings" and no concomitant loss of life.

Probably quicker than what they're asking you to do, and a 10% return on your effort doesn't seem to justify the time.

Plus, previously unpopular books slated for untimely "culling" could all of a sudden become popular and retain a place on the shelf.

There may be a teensy problem with ethics, morals or some such, to which Cow says: pshaw!


The Topiaryiest Bunny said...

Bunny knows how to get library visitors to check-out more books...

One juicy carrot per book checked out.


Kevin Musgrove said...

Obviously, ethical considerations would prevent my ever implementing any of these ideas.

(My auditors may be reading!)