Tales from Helminthdale: You can set your watch by it

Every day this week the network's gone down at Dutch Bend at 11.00am. The staff there are bored with it and I can't say that I much blame them.

Suck your teeth	28%
Put your socks back on	1%
Have a book sale	22%
Freeze all vacancies and complain that there aren't enough staff	8%
Try to spend all your budget in the last week in March	0%
Underspend your budgets by 32% and complain that you're underfunded	4%
Clean some tea spoons	3%
Count the bog rolls	1%
Tell everybody that you were on leave that week	33%

Tales from Helminthdale