We're taking a bit of a breather while the world rearranges its underpants. Meanwhile, the other blog is here.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Holy Moses! Have a look!

Your organisation buys a whiteboard, puts it up on the wall and you're in business, right?


This is what happened to Jim when Management Group decided, eventually, to have a whiteboard so that we could leave notes for whoever's dumped with the job of answering people's 'phones when they're off-site (or, in the case of T.Aldous and Mary, when they can't be arsed to answer their own 'phones).

You decide you're getting a whiteboard so your senior managers measure all the available walls, decide which wall it's going on and then order the whiteboard. Once it arrives your senior managers measure it, decide on its going on a different wall and tell you to send it back. You then get a replacement and are instructed to leave it in a dark place, jutting out into a fire exit, to mature for a few weeks. When your senior boss is on leave you get the whiteboard fixed to the wall you first thought of -- the most appropriate one -- and everyone starts using it. When they get back, follow orders to order the replacement whiteboard. When you receive the whiteboard, your senior managers will inspect all the available walls, their having decided at length in the previous management meeting where it should go, and instruct the caretaker to Do Nothing. A suitable interval having relapsed, lose patience and ask the caretaker to get the thing stuck on the wall while your chief's distracted. Once the holes are drilled in the wall your chief will toddle along and instruct the caretaker to Do Nothing. Your senior managers will then measure the walls and instruct you to order a Bigger Whiteboard. Spurn junior colleagues' suggestion that perhaps you should get a tin of blackboard paint and some chalk. Or tar and feathers. Order the Biggest Whiteboard In The Catalogue. When you receive the whiteboard, your senior managers will inspect all the available walls. Repeat ad nauseam.

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