Ain't it grand

The muse strikes again. For those of you who care about these things, this one has a rather louche orchestra backing with lots of brass and a bloke with a whoopee whistle.

Ain't It Grand To Work In Helminthdale!
(apologies and due deference to Sarony)

Lately there's nothing but trouble, grief and strife
There's not much attraction about this bloomin' life
Last night I dreamt I was bloomin' well dead
At work in the library I bloomin' well said:
Look at the decor, early late stone age.
Ain't it grand to work in Helminthdale!
Look at the web site, can't add a web page.
Ain't it grand to work in Helminthdale!

We don't train the staff to use systems old or new
There's no one to train them so nowt will have to do.
Look at the staffing, looks like a ghost town.
Ain't it grand to work in Helminthdale!

Half of the posts here, gone like a vapour.
Ain't it grand to work in Helminthdale!
All of the remnants, burnt out and bitter.
Ain't it grand to work in Helminthdale!

We're closing a library to give it a refit
But don't tell the customers, it's a see-kerit.
Look at the ceiling, look at it fall down.
Ain't it grand to work in Helminthdale!

Look at what passes for communication.
Ain't it grand to work in Helminthdale!
Old horses asses misinformation.
Ain't it grand to work in Helminthdale!

We're having a booksale you might not be aware
And that's why there's boxes in every bloomin' where.
Can't move for cartons some have been years there.
Ain't it grand to work in Helminthdale!

What are those spinners? They're going nowhere.
Ain't it grand to work in Helminthdale!
Don't chuck that shelving! Best keep it back spare.
Ain't it grand to work in Helminthdale!

We come from dust and we all go back they say
That layer on the ref stock could well be you some day.
Look at T.Aldous, thumping great halfwit.
Ain't it grand to work in Helminthdale!