We're taking a bit of a breather while the world rearranges its underpants. Meanwhile, the other blog is here.

Monday, August 17, 2009


There's a budget crisis at Helminthdale and the council is trying to cut costs. Actually, that's not strictly true: the council is trying to save money at all costs. Head count is always a substantial cost - the council is far and away the biggest employer in the borough - so the council is looking to get it trimmed down so that it can afford to fund the Regeneration Programme For Jobs.

We've had the bit where they cut everyone's pay; and the bit where taking the time back for involuntary unpaid out-of-hours working is treated as a benefit-in-kind; now we're at the bit where the council asks if anybody's interested in early retirement.

Bronwyn and I are gutted: we're of the same age and just slightly too young to qualify. A mutual friend in the council offices over in Catty has applied and almost by return of post he received a letter telling him that on no account is the council prepared to allow him early retirement as he is "a very-much valued employee whose skills we are not prepared to lose at this time. He's planning on getting it framed and put on the wall so that he can point to it next time he gets a bollocking for being bolshie.


Affer said...

Ah yes, it's the old Resource Planning Symmetry syndrome. That's the one where, to 'create' money for Job Creation Funding, heads are reduced. One can't get rid of 'good' people, or people who have been in service for a very long time because redundancy costs are quite high. So one gets rid of lower-skilled, not-very-long-service people. People who, almost by definition, are less likely to find re-employment....ie the ones most likely to benefit from Job Creation Funding. It's remarkably similar to an Employment Ponzi scheme.....

Gadjo Dilo said...

Ha, yes, make them eat their words: make a large enamel badge with the phrase "Very-much valued employee", wear it at all times, and then proceed to be as bolshie as possible!

The Topiary Cow said...

Just slightly too young, eh?

well there's always a silver lining.


Kevin Musgrove said...

Affer: your experience is the greater than mine, and we've both been there. Ditto "why does regeneration project money go to projects and not regeneration?"

Gadjo: boffo idea! I'll pass it on.

Ms Cow: every silver lining has a cloud.