"A group of lads went into the gents and watched each other crapping in the sink. We didn't know they were in until they came out."
"We'll have to put a CCTV camera in there."
"Have you considered that it might have been a bit of performance art? We should have a webcam in there."
"Well, whatever it is, Seth's had to clean it up."
Let's hope the Catty Examiner doesn't get to hear about it. All Hell will break loose once they find out we've been at an important art installation with a bottle of Max Strength Bleach.