Every customer this morning has asked: "What about that old Bubonic Plague?"

Things are a bit fraught. We've all gone down with bad colds, that is to say half of us are suffering and knowing the vagaries of our air-conditioning system the rest will follow in three days' time. The good news is that we've found that a combination of Flu Strength Doctor Collis' Horse Jollop, licorice and hot, sweet tea zonks us out completely: they could drop an atom bomb on us and we'd not notice.

Alas, not all are so comforted. Bronwyn comes down from lending, bringing back the debris of the latest Big Wild Read Wild Happening and news of shortages on the front line.

"We're quarter-staffed due to school holidays, sickness and covering for vacancies in branches. We've got leaves and compost all over the children's library. We're drawing straws to see who's going to cover in ref. And two of the PCs have stopped working.

"But we've rearranged all the books in the book sale so all's right in the world."