Amid great fanfare we are presented with the successor to "Scoring Points By Ticking Boxes" (a thrilling yarn, soon to be a major motion picture). The council's Excellence And Expediency Directorate proudly presents "Bobbing Up: An Excellence Toolkit." I grit my teeth and get to slide 78: "Can we do it? Yes we can!" (oh come on, who's going to invent anything as unbelievable as an eighty-four slide PowerPoint presentation?) Anyway, I got as far as slide 78 before I started rocking to and fro and moaning. My neighbours had curled up into balls on their chairs. Three people at the front (including one of the presenters) fell asleep and a lady at the back had to be given air. All in all a rousing success.
I get back to the office and dig out my Scoring Points by Ticking Boxes" mantra card. To my utter lack of astonishment I find that the summary of points is exactly the same as the "key outcomes" list in slide 65.
So at least we'll all be consistent non-achievers then.