We had a sickness monitoring briefing this morning. It turns out that we're the third worst service for sickness this year after social services and the one-stop shops. Something must be done says T.Aldous. To my dying day I'll never know how nobody said: "why don't you retire then?"
Instead, T.Aldous stares at Jim and pipes up:
"Well one person here had a day off sick last year."
This appears to be the sum total for his strategy for progress.