Quite well-respected in the profession

Jimmy Huddersfield retires next week, which will be a bit of a blow as he's the only one who knows how e-procurement works. To give him due, he gave three months' rather than two months' notice to give them a chance of getting the vacancy filled in a timely manner. The clever money's on it only taking six months this time because three library standards depend on this post.

Innocent bystander: "Don't they get someone in before the postholder retires so that they can be shown the ropes?"

Me: "Quiet fool! I laugh in your face and scorn you. Scorn! Scorn! Now sit in the corner until you get a grip."

Jimmy's been spending months trying to get a meeting to work through his job description so's the job adverts can be prepared in a timely manner. Still no joy.

He got a letter yesterday from the head of Helminthdale Adult Learning Services thanking him for his work over the past twenty-five years and wishing him luck on his retirement. Unfortunately, Jimmy doesn't work for Helminthdale Adult Learning Services and has no idea who the head of this service is, which is probably mutual. Only in Helminthdale could you spend quarter of a century working for a department and get a farewell-and-good-luck-on-your-retirement letter from an entirely different one.

He's already framed the letter as a souvenir of this caring council.