We're enjoying a week's jolly fun care of Zoltan, our improbably-named auditor. Having been forewarned to "expect a visit from Zoltan," some of the branch staff worked themselves into a lather in the expectation of some sun-bronzed, bicep-ridden hunk. Poor old Zoltan, while a perfectly nice old chap is small, a little stooped and has some of his own hair. How he copes so politely with the constant dashed hopes of ladies of a certain age I do not know.
After hearing two days' worth of whingeing about Zoltan's crawling through the minutiae of the paperwork I was a bit worried when it was my turn. "I want to see how you get your issue figures," he said. I was relieved: "is that all? Brilliant!" Pathetically grateful to have an audience, I sat him down in front of my PC and said: "what I'll do is show you the effect of issuing a book on the system so that you can see how each datum's generated, and then I'll show you how the reports are compiled. It's pretty straightforward, so I can show you the full process."
Zoltan went white. "I don't think that will be necessary. I think you've established that this is pretty sound." And then he scuttled off.
I now have an unenvible reputation amongst my colleagues for having bored an auditor.