The plot's very simple: he stays a frog all his life

Wendy, one of the Reference Librarians at Umpty Library, has been making it clear that she "doesn't feel able to deliver the sessions outlined for this year's Family Learning Month at her library. I can't say I'm surprised. Salome's given the job of trying to sort out a salvage operation.

"She's told Julia and T.Aldous that she hasn't had much opportunity to get to grips with the internet," she tells me.

"She's had a networked PC on her desk for twelve years," I reply.

We both know that this won't count for anything in the scheme of things round here.