How swell

Lola's been putting on weight lately in a very noticeable fashion. You don't like to say anything really, well we don't 'cos we're nice like that. She finally confesses:

"I'm pregnant!"

"Really? You don't look it." [How some people can keep a straight face...]

We explain as best we can that it's bad form for the publican to drain his own stock. It turns out that the lure of Bookstart goodies isn't the motive behind her condition.

"I'm hoping that by the time I get back from maternity leave T.Aldous will have retired!"

"It is a human baby you're carrying isn't it? They come out after nine months, I read that in a book."