An audience with The Bash Street Kids

Frog can at last bear to talk about yesterday's frightfulness at Senebene. He turned up with the poet who was going to be doing the event to find that Beryl and Deidre had spent a couple of hours having to cope with a bunch of lads who probably could have done with a bit of a poke with a cattle prod. They settled down for all of ten seconds before playing up again. Eventually, Frog had to play the heavy and tell them that if they didn't settle down a bit they'd have to go away. Which is what had to happen. And lo it was that there wasn't anyone else left (they'd pigged off any less raucous kids).

"I've been doing this for twenty-three years and never lost an audience before," says Frog.

Sad to say, in real life there are always some people we're not going to reach, no matter how much we try.