"You can tell he's been in this morning."
"He's been rooting round in all the drawers and cupboards."
"Did you not do that thing where you leave a sheet of paper face up in the top drawer saying: 'just out of curiosity, what were you looking for?'"
"You can get away with that sort of thing, I can't."
Some people are defeated before they enter the field of battle.
Pansy tells me that Gypsy Lane isn't being closed while they put in "disabled toilets." During the key phases of the operation staff will be equipped with a commode in the staff room.
"Not exactly hygenic, is it, having a commode where you're eating your lunch."
"I can see that it's not ideal. I wonder what happens if one of you wants to eat her butties and the other needs the loo... Are you ringing from the staff room now?"
"There's you are then: you should ring T.Aldous up while you're on the commode. 'Excuse me while I wipe.' If you do it often enough he'll either relent and organise something a bit less demeaning or else you'll get some time off for mental incapacity."