Victorious failures and successful suicides

Helminthdale, like other councils across the country, are pulling together cuts packages to try and pre-empt the inevitable horrors to come with the government's autumn spending plans. This evening's news doesn't bode well.

The staff in the works department have been fighting a four-year battle with the council over the consequences of the equal pay evaluation fiasco. Just before m'learned friends got involved in earnest the council owned up that they'd screwed up on a couple of key measures and that the team leaders were entitled to remain at grade six. Last week they received their first pay packet at the re-established grade.

Today they were told that as part of the council's efficiency savings the works department posts at this grade are to be scrapped. They're well impressed at the news.