Tiny, oak-beamed suppositories

Every day, Posy gets a flurry of electronic missives or epistles from Digby Deadpan concerning the visit of A Celebrity Some Of Us Have Heard Of. We didn't have this much fuss when royalty came to visit (Ex-King Zog of Albania came in to use the reference library, for old times' sake).

Posy explodes at the latest one.

"He wants to know if the library's got a nice table The Celebrity can sit at!"

"If he shifted his arse rather than talking through it he might come over the road and have a look for himself," suggests Maybelle.