Staff room's on form today. This is peculiar on so many levels I may have to enter it for the egg and spoon race. Any further comment from me would be entirely superfluous.
"...and her friend's upset because she had to have her snake put down."
"Well, it was one of those boa constrictor type things and it just wasn't eating. She tried feeding it with its usual favourites but it didn't want to know. Couldn't be tempted. It just would'nt eat.
"Well this went on for a month or so and she was getting worried about it. The peculiar thing is that one night she woke up and found that the snake had got out of its tank and was just sitting at the bottom of the bed staring at her. She got up and put it back in the tank and thought no more about it.
"Well, a couple of weeks later she decided that the snake's not eating must mean it was ill or something so she took it to the vet. And he said: 'I'm sorry but I'll have to put your snake to sleep. It's deliberately starving itself so that it can eat you.'"
"Good grief, I've never heard of that before!"
"That's what he said, apparently. What gets me is how he could be so sure of it. Even if he were an expert on snake psychology he must have some evidence to go off. Perhaps there's loads of cases of pet snakes eating women in Pardendale but it just doesn't get in the papers."
As they say on Crimewatch: "don't go having nightmares."