In the end, all corners of T.Aldous' empire chipped in to his birthday collection with a rare generosity. Especially given that everybody's well aware that it's not a retirement present. This lunchtime he was presented with a fine card, some gift vouchers and a nice bunch of flowers to take home to his lady wife.
He had a face like a slapped arse.
"Thank you very much but I was keeping my birthday a secret."
He's spent the last hour quizzing people to find out who organised the collection so that he could given them a bollocking.