There's always someone worse off than yourself

A colleague sends me a photograph of a huge mound of tatty old reference books and assorted magazines. A football pitch-sized huge mound of tatty old reference books and assorted magazines.

He has been stock-editing his reference library.

It has not been done in the thirty-odd years before he took over. I assumed the figure half-buried by old copies of the Nursing Times was for illustrative purposes but it turns out not to be so. One of the Reference Librarians helpfully told a customer that they had 'just the thing' for a particular enquiry and that it had been sent for recycling but was easy to retrieve.

Another colleague writes:

"I've been heartily amused by a staff consultation exercise our council's got on the go at the moment. We're in the midst of a whole-council cross-departmental cuts and efficiencies review. It reported to Council last week for decision, as yet unknown. This is the point at which they launch the staff consultation exercise.

"'What efficiencies do you think the council could achieve?" it asks. And gives you 100 characters' space in which to respond.

"Best yet: throughout the survey it was at pains to say that it was an anonymous staff survey. The final questions? Your date of birth, your gender and the section you work for!"

Another colleague has had fun:

"Our mobile library driver's off sick this week and we've got a relief driver. I had to accompany him on the van. 'Oh good, I've got a dolly bird!" he said, cheeky sod. Just after lunchtime we had a bit of an accident.

"'I think I've clipped that car's wing mirror,' he said.

"I got out and had a look. Clipped? He'd annihilated it. And the front bumper and front panel. And caved the offside door in. Bloody hell! After ringing in to report the accident I was told we should take the van back to the depot to make sure it was OK.

"'When was the accident?' asked the fleet manager.

"'We crashed into the car at 1.45, we knocked over the railings at 2.05 and we knocked over all those dustbins at quarter past two,' I told him.

"'By gum, you're efficient!' said the driver.

"It's not my turn with him tomorrow, thank God!"