Please let me love you tonight, Gladys, tomorrow I won't have the time

Nancy's team had their Xmas do last night at The Ponderosa in Pardendale. By all accounts, and delicacy of voices, they had a good time of it. They weren't overly impressed by the cabaret: an elderly chap who did impersonations of Sid James singing a medley of Tom Jones hits.

"Oooh... Did you hear his hip click when he did that pelvic thrust?"