"I thought I'd best make it clear, for all of you who listen to gossip, that I am Shagger Noakes' mistress!"
There was an astonished hush, which was broken by a voice from the crowd:
"No you're not! I'm his mistress!"
"No! I am!"
"What's going on here? I thought I was!"
My informant laughed himself silly when he told me about it.
"Imagine 'Spartacus' in action slacks!"